When Doubt Begins There's No Stopping It
by Little Lily Wolf
Summary: This is my 1st FanFic, so please review. Beast Boy thought he loved Terra, but could it be that its Raven he's meant to be with? BB&Rae SF
1. Prologue

_**Author's Note: I do not own Teen Titans, and will never try to say otherwise. I am working on fixing my chapters. I'm working on the next chapter as well. Sorry for the changes. Review please! Suggestions, comments, and constructive criticism are always welcome. ~ 1-25-12**_

_**Love, Lily **_

_**Prologue**_

* * *

"I saw it again, this morning, at first I thought it was just a shadow but then I realized that it was lurking around every corner," Here she stifled a sob. "I started running and I spotted a store so I ran it and everyone was looking at me as though they thought I was some psycho escaping out of the crazy house so I stopped running. I walked quickly out of the back door to the store and I went to the closest alley and I flew back here, well I guess you could say I floated, but you get the point, I hope?"

"Well, yeah I do. I mean why wouldn't I get your point?" I asked her, but she was not listening. I could tell by the look on her face that she had not heard a word I had said.

"Honey!" I said, snapping her out of her thoughtful state and brought me back to reality.

"Yes?" She quickly asked back.

"Well what I was going to ask you before you went off to lala land is insignificant now, so I will ask a different question. Why did not you wake me up earlier?"

"Well I did not want to wake you up because you looked so cute sleeping and dreaming about me," mimicking my voice, she repeated what I had said when I was sleeping," My heart, of course I love you!" switching back to her voice, "Sound familiar?" she asked, beaming at me.

But Beast Boy was not thinking about what she was asking him, he was thinking about a particularly pretty girl who was wearing a sexy blue nightgown that he had bought her, and had silky purple hair that cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall, and a lovely mouth when she actually smiled, and a lacy …no. _I must stop thinking about her, or else my newly found wife will be my newly found ex wife._ "Terra, maybe you should lie down, honey."

"Oh, okay…" she said, confusion shining in her eyes.

_'She was so god damn sexy...'_ "I was not dreaming about you." I mumbled, not thinking.

"Then tell me who you were dreaming about!"

"Well, maybe I was, but just a little bit." I said, hoping she would drop the subject.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean, huh?"

"Umm..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Choking on her tears, the purple-haired beauty wiped her eyes trying to stop the waves of emotion racking her body. A knock on the door forced her to climb out from under the covers and go to the door. She kept her hood on, hiding her puffy, red eyes.

"Raven, Robin wants everyone in the kitchen A-S-A-P." Starfire said with a huge smile.

"Alright, thanks for letting me know. I'll be down in a minute." Raven spoke, surprised her voice didn't give away to her inner turmoil but what did she expect after hiding it for so long. _How did that old saying go? Oh yeah… 'Practice makes perfect'. _She exhaled softly, as Starfire's excited footsteps faded."I wonder what's got her so excited." Raven thought, aloud. She grabbed a couple tissues, and dried her cheeks and blew her nose.

A flashback of Beast Boy's face, excited about some stupid video-game flashed through her head and she dug her fingernails into her palm, to remind herself that now wasn't the time to remember _him. _She had long since given up on the idea of trying to stop thinking about him at night. He haunted her dreams. She shook her head, causing purple to swish back and forth as she stared at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before leaving.

Raven walked out of her room and down the hall, following Starfire's chatter into the kitchen. Cyborg was in the fridge and Robin was grinning for once. He seemed to be as excited as Starfire, although there was a bit of nervousness as he glanced up at her. Raven gave a small smile back to him before asking, "So, what's the impromptu meeting all about?" He blushed and Starfire seemed to be trying to contain her happiness. Something caught Raven's eyes, and she blinked before she looked down, seeing the diamond on Star's finger catching the morning sun's light.

She suddenly understood, and dug her fingernails into her palm until she knew there would be little crescent moon cuts and pasted a huge smile on her face."Congratulations to you both, Robin and Starfire. So, have you set a date?"

Hearing this, Cyborg's eyes seemed to be pop out of his head as he turned to a now bright-red Robin. "You're engaged?"

Robin nodded and then cleared his throat. "Yes, and I would love it if you could be my best man, since Beast Boy is always busy with Terra. I just thought…" Robin paused, and he looked over at Raven, his eyes showing guilt for speaking of the grinned and he turned back to Cyborg.

"Yes, I'll be your best man, Robin."

Robin smiled and pulled his new fiancee over for a mind-blowing and passionate kiss. Raven looked away and while Cyborg hugged Robin and Starfire, she slipped out into the hallway and made her way back to her bedroom. Lying on her bed, Raven let the memories replay in her mind as tears began their descent once more.


	2. A Glimpse into the Past

**A Glimpse into the Past**

* * *

_**18 months before**_

Raven and Beast Boy were walking on a path in the woods, hand-in-hand, smiling and laughing at a joke he had told her. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his, and suddenly found herself pushed up against a tree. She felt the bark of the tree pressing into her back as Beast Boy's mouth captured hers and slid his hands up under her shirt, lightly squeezing as Raven's hands took his shirt off. He broke the kiss to start kissing and nibbling on her neck, as she trailed her fingers down his chest and gently nibbled his shoulders.

His fingers fumbled with getting her pants off as her hands slid beneath the waistband of his pants and wrapped around the hard member between his legs. His groan had her grinning and then the grin turned into a moan as his fingers found their way into the soft folds between her legs. He fingered her and she tilted her head back, giving him access to her neck. He took the opportunity and bit into her neck, as she grew even wetter. He pulled her pants further down and she yanked his down, before he pushed her further up the tree and then drove his hard cock deep into her hot, tight center.

She moaned his name. He started thrusting and she wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles into place against the small of his back. He thrust harder and harder as her fingers tangled into his hair and they both grew closer to their climax. Their screams pierced the silent night as he released his hot seed into her and her body rocked with the power of her orgasm. They lay afterward on the soft grass, hands intertwined and her head on his chest as the moon's silvery light shone over them and they looked up at the stars. Unexpectedly, he turned his head and looked into her violet eyes with his blue eyes.

He whispered as he softly caressed her cheek, "Raven, I love you."

Tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks and she whispered, "I love you too, Beast Boy."

_**Back to the Present**_

_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

"Umm... I was dreaming about you, Terra, but it was also about my friends. You know I miss them baby." I told her, which was mostly the truth. I really did miss my friends, and my dream did have her in it, but I was leaving out that what she had heard me saying was being said to Raven.

She nodded, her expression softening, "I know babe, but you know it's for the best if you just forget about them. They told you that they couldn't stand that you had chosen being married and living with me, over living with them in the Tower. You saw the letter for yourself, and babe you heard what Raven said with your own two ears and then she lied to you about it and to top it all off, she cheated on you."

At the mention of Raven, tears welled up in my eyes as a million spears stabbed into my heart. I remembered the night we had declared our love for one another for the first time. Her eyes had shined brighter than the stars in the sky, but it was all a show. She didn't care about me, no matter how much I loved her, or how much it broke my heart when I heard those hurtful words and when he had learned of her affair.

I closed my eyes and if I hadn't of, I would've seen the smirk and the evil gleam in Terra's eyes. Alas, I didn't keep my eyes open and I let my wife comfort me, even though it had all been caused by her in the first place. I just didn't realize it then, didn't see it. Or maybe I didn't want to see it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I stood up, rage filling me with a new-found energy. _How could he have believed that stupid twit over me? It was my word against hers and he freaking took that bitch's word for it. Unbelievable. Inconceivable._ Unfortunately, it had happened. The blond wannabe had stolen the very thing that had brought happiness and peace to me. I had had to stand by and watch as Terra got everything she had ever wanted. All my hopes, dreams were gone; my heart shattered.

For a year, Terra had flaunted her relationship with Beast Boy and then the engagement. The ring on her finger, the ring she should have never seen. The girl had freaking betrayed them after all. I hated myself for even thinking of helping Terra for Beast Boy's sake. I had made the biggest mistake of her life using her powers to force some of the rock-levitator's memories back.

I slammed my fist into her wall, and threw the stuffed bear that Beast Boy had won for me at a festival off my bed. I picked up my lamp and chucked it, grinning with satisfaction as I watched it shatter. I levitated my desk and hurled it across the room, before collapsing to the ground and bringing my knees up to her chest, crying softly.

The others heard the commotion and when Starfire wanted to run to her friend's room, Robin held her back. "Let her be." Star nodded and reluctantly agreed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Beast Boy**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I love you so much Terra. I'm glad Raven brought your memories back, and I'm so grateful for you telling me the truth about her. I know you're the only one I can trust. I just wish it would be easier to forget all of the Titans. Now, how about we go grab some breakfast?" I asked her, pasting a smile on my face.

Terra nodded, returning my grin with an even bigger one. "I already made you some, baby. There's eggs and pancakes and some tofu waiting for you on a plate downstairs on the table." She took my hand in her own and started half-dragging me down the stairs to eat. I ate, but with not as much enthusiasm as usual. I felt sick to my stomach, and the food went down my throat without a real taste. She ate her food, and even made herself some more pancakes before I was even done with my plate. She frowned when I didn't ask for seconds.

I sighed, and told her I'd be back. "I'm going for a walk. Be back in a bit." Transforming into a wolf, I ran into the woods, and I kept going, nonstop, unbeknown as to where I would end up stopping.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hours later, I woke to the sound of howling. _The sunset is gorgeous with the purple and red mixing together like that. _I thought to herself, as I stared out the window looking for the source of the commotion that had caused me to be awakened. The howling began again, but this time it sounded a lot more like crying. I frowned, wondering where it was coming from. It wasn't near the Tower, because I was barely able to hear it now, so the wolf must have moved further away.

My thoughts drifted to Beast Boy and for the billionth time that week, I wondered what he was doing and if he was missing me or if I was even on his mind anymore. Little did I know that he was crying and wishing he could go back, but 'knowing' it was too late. My curiosity got the better of me as I sent her astral-self out in search of the man that had been stolen by the evil blond. Depression hit me like a ton of bricks, as tears began to flow down my cheeks. My body started shaking with the force of the emotion and the sobs.

He was in human form, but I could tell he had been running by the little cuts on his feet. I suspected that he had been running as a wolf and that he had been the howler. _So the perfect couple and ending isn't so happy after all. _I thought with a smirk, not intending to send the emotions through Beast Boy. Unfortunately, he felt it and looked up, knowing I was there.

"Raven, I'm sorry. I love you and I always will. I wish you would have told me you loved Robin more than me. I hated having to hear you tell him that and then Terra told me about all the times you had confided in her about not wanting to hurt me. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. So, just go now, Raven. Pl…"

His words were drowned out by his sobs as more tears flowed down their cheeks. Hatred at Terra rose in me and my astral projection faded. I levitated out of my window, causing pieces of glass to fall, but I didn't care at the moment. I was flying to the bitch that had shattered my heart, and destroyed my hopes and dreams, and hurt the one person I had ever loved.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Terra**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sat on the couch, my feet propped up and a can of pop in her hand as I watched TV and waited for Beast Boy to come home. I was letting Beast Boy get the grieving out of the way, because I knew there was nothing that could bring Raven and him back together. I had purposefully spun my web of lies with the intent of making sure their relationship would be done forever. After all, the stupid purple haired twit would never figure out that I was the mastermind behind the whole break-up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I kicked down the door and saw Terra. More anger flared up in me and I lunged for the blond, knocking the soda to the floor. I slapped her, leaving a hand-print. Terra pulled my hair and slapped me back, and I hauled off and punched her. Terra screamed and grabbed at her now broken nose. I started wildly punching Terra anywhere I could land a blow as Terra cried and tried to stop the bleeding from her nose. Suddenly, I was thrown back, and Robin was pinning me to the wall demanding that I calm down. Beast Boy was running to his wife and then he turned to me, and anger flashed in his eyes. _He hates me_. Was my last thought before I slumped to the ground and passed out against the wall Robin had me pinned to. I was physically drained from all the emotions surging through me and from all those in the room.

_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

I turned to Raven, anger in my eyes, but when I saw the raw emotion in her eyes, I saw the pain and love and the fear that I hated her and as her eyes closed, I felt tears well up once more and fear rose up inside me. Terra had moved from being in shocked pain to being furious. She was cussing up a storm and calling Raven every name in the book. When she lunged for her, I grabbed her by the back of her t-shirt and held her back. Raven would not be attacked while unable to defend herself. Something about my wife being willing to do that struck me as odd.

_What else has she done when someone's not able to fight back? Did she kiss me that night knowing I would be vulnerable?_ The questions and doubts seemed to be coming out of nowhere. _But they couldn't be right. Could they? No, she…this…isn't right. No, no, no!_ My head was beginning to pound so I rubbed my temples trying to make sense of all of it. It was like things were falling in place but there were pieces still missing. Terra's just angry. That's all.

Try as I might, though, I couldn't shake the lack of faith in my wife that I was quickly gaining. She held her broken nose, her eyes showing a blazing anger as they glared at the now regaining consciousness purple-haired woman. My gaze, and everyone else's, followed my wife's and turned to look at Raven, but Raven had eyes only for me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was searching for something, as I stared deep into his eyes. _Anything…just something that proves he doesn't hate me for smashing his wife's nose…_The green eyes shown with concern and slight anger and a hell of a lot of confusion. My gaze lowering, I suddenly noticed something that had the corners of my mouth starting to turn upward before turning downward. Beast Boy was holding Terra's shirt as she tried to break free. With a growl of anger, Terra ripped her shirt and was sitting on my chest, as Terra proceeded to hit me in the face. '_Azarath Metrion Zinthos,' _my voice whispers, as I expel a large aura of darkness from my cloak, and Terra begins to writhe in pain. I throw the bitch off of me and stands up. I smirk down at the blond, as fear-based illusions had Terra's screams echoing off the walls.

Out of nowhere, I felt arms wrapping around my waist, and soothing words being whispered in my ear. Glaring, I turned to see Beast Boy, and my eyes softened for a moment. I was losing control of my emotions. I knew it, but I didn't know how to stop it. "I love you, my Raven." I heard Beast Boy's words, and I felt something break inside of me. I fell to my knees, and he went with me holding me tight. He was comforting me as the darkness slowly faded into nothingness and Terra lay motionless, looking up at me with fearful eyes. I clung to Beast Boy as if my life depended on it.


	3. Catfight Backfires

**Catfight Backfires**

* * *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She was searching for something, as she stared deep into his eyes. _Anything…just something that proves he doesn't hate me for smashing his wife's nose…_The blue eyes shown with concern and slight anger and a hell of a lot of confusion. Her gaze lowering, she suddenly noticed something that had the corners of her mouth starting to turn upward. Beast Boy was holding Terra's shirt as she tried to break free. With a growl of anger, Terra ripped her shirt and was sitting on Raven's chest, as Terra proceeded to hit Raven in the face. '_Azarath Metrion Zinthos,' _she whispers, as she expels a large aura of darkness from her cloak, and Terra begins to writhe in pain. She throws the bitch off of her and stands up. She smirks down at the blond, as fear-based illusions had Terra's screams echoing off the walls.

Out of nowhere, Raven felt arms wrapping around her waist, and soothing words being whispered in her ear. Glaring, she turned to see Beast Boy, and her eyes softened for a moment. She was losing control of her emotions, she knew it, but she didn't know how to stop it. "I love you, my Raven." She heard Beast Boy's words, and she felt something break inside of her. She fell to her knees, and he went with her holding her, comforting her, as the darkness slowly faded into nothingness and Terra lay motionless, looking up at Raven with fearful eyes. Raven clung to Beast Boy as if her life depended on it.

Honestly, it kind of did. He was holding her because it felt right, and tears slid down his cheeks, matching her own. They were both scared, and neither remembered where they were. It was like they were the only two people in the world. Words sprung to her lips but she bit her lip until she tasted iron, because she would be go to hell if she was going to mess this moment up. He pulled back first, his eyes finding his wife's. Terra cleared her throat, and frightfully glanced at Raven, who gave an almost imperceptible nod. "I have something I would like to say." Here again, she paused and glanced up at her enemy. "Raven needs mental help. She just attacked me and let her emotions take over her. She's obviously unstable. I guess she just hasn't gotten over the fact that I'm married to her ex boyfriend. "

Raven's eyes narrowed as anger began to rise in her again, but she fought to keep control as her fists clenched. She took a deep breath, mentally repeating, '_Azarath Metrion Zinthos'. _She opened her mouth to speak, but Robin cut her off. "Excuse me, Terra? Who the hell do you think you are? You are in no position to tell me how to deal with my team members. You're not a part of the Teen Titans anymore." Instead of defending her, as Robin had, Beast Boy agreed with his wife. "Rachel, maybe it's time you got some help. Coming here with no actual reason other than to harm someone just because they have something you don't and then that much anger on her. That was uncalled for Raven. You need to get some help. I'm sorry, but this just isn't normal behavior." He told her, in a soothing voice. Suddenly, he noticed Starfire's ring. "Oh, now I understand where this outburst is coming from. Starfire is engaged to Robin, and soon they'll be married. You're upset because you're jealous and you're wrongfully taking it out on people." Raven's hope faded and her anger gave in to defeat.

"Garfield, do you really believe that?" Raven asked, her last bit of hope hanging on a thin thread. Like scissors, his next words snipped her hope. "Yes, unfortunately, I do. It's not like you to behave so irrationally. I am sorry that the upcoming events have caused you so much pain, and I wish there was something I could do to help you, but honestly, I do not think there is. You should go see a therapist, Rae, before you become more out of control." The pity in his eyes was the last straw. She stood up with the shred of dignity she had left; she walked out of his house and flew into the night. The wind chilled her to the bone, but still she levitated. Higher and higher she went until she found herself in the clouds. She simply floated there, then, waiting for the pain to stop and the cold to clear her head and numb her body. She did not want to feel. She did not want to think. She would stay up here forever, if that was what it would take for the pain to cease.

Sometime later, she heard a noise that was not the sound of her own tears. It was the rustling of feathers. She looked up, then remembered where she was, and shifted her eyes downward. A bird was flying towards her. It looked like a raven, but there was something peculiar about said bird. It took her a minute before she realized it was strange looking because it was green. The bird dropped a paper onto her lap and then flew off. She opened the paper and read it, a smile pushing at the corners of her mouth. She floated to a nearby rooftop, and slowly levitated down until her feet touched the ground. She sat down, and dangled her feet off the edge of the building, waiting.

Moments later, a familiar transformation took place and he stood there before her, his anguish and regret shining brightly in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his waist and listened to the sound of. "I love you Raven, I always have and I always will." He whispered in her ear, before pressing his lips softly against hers. She responded by kissing him tenderly back. The kiss was sweet, but ended too quickly for her. He carried her to her bedroom, and laid her down on her bed. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow," He whispered, barely audible as he hopped out window and off into the night.

The morning's light streamed in from the window, waking Raven up from her slumber. She yawned and stretched, then rubbed her eyes. She looked around the room, trying to remember where she was. Beneath her, she feels the linens and covering her, is a blanket. She sits up, the movement causing the blanket to fall onto her lap. She looked down and saw she was still wearing the clothes she had worn the night before. The events of the previous night flashed in her mind like a VCR on fast forward. She took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. She wanted Vodka, a whole bottle of it.

Raven smiled, knowing she would be hung over in the morning if she truly drank a whole bottle. She remembered the countless nights, after she had found out about Terra and Beast Boy, when she would drink herself to sleep while they were out partying all night. She stands up, and walks to the bathroom. Seeing her reflection in the mirror, her eyes widen. She sees some of the tears had dried and matted her hair. Disgusted, she stripped down nothing and stepped under the hot spray. Sometime later, she stepped out and dried herself off. Wrapping a towel around her hair, and then another around her naked body, she walked towards the mirror. Her eyes had lost the puffiness. Turning on her heel, she walked into her bedroom and grabbed an outfit. She dressed, and sat at her vanity, as she brushed her hair out, finding a small amount of comfort at the ordinary activity.

She made her way down to breakfast, where Robin sat alone at the dining room table. When she entered, he glanced up at her with a smile that did not quite make it to his eyes. He looked as though he had been up all night, and in his next sentence he confirmed it. "Raven, I've been up all night, trying to come up with a way to justify your attack on Terra, but I am sorry. She is either pressing charges, or you are to be checked into the mental hospital. I am so sorry." As he said this, Raven sat down in the chair, her world being tipped even further upside down. Hatred boiled within her, but she squelched it. "How soon?" She asked, her voice surprisingly not shaking. "Less than one hour." She nodded, and stood up. "I'll go willingly," was all she said, as she disappeared back into her bedroom. She lied down on her bed, and replayed her dream from the night before. Such a beautiful moment, too bad it was not real. What she was not aware of was that that scene, it was not a dream. It was real. Beast Boy had carried her home.

They came and took her, and Beast Boy could not even dare to watch her being taken off, but his wife sure did. Smirking and sneering, Terra watched Beast Boy's ex lover be taken to the mental hospital. Raven cooperated through it all, even though she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and cry until she had no tears left, or fly in a rage at Terra. She would not let the bitches get that satisfaction. So, Beast Boy was truly done with her. He thought she was insane and he had chosen his wife over her. Again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Beast Boy**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sitting on the rooftop from the night before, I watched as Raven was taken into custody by the men in white coats. Off to the mental hospital, and it was entirely my fault. I had been on Terra's side so long; I had forgotten what it was like to disagree with her opinion of something. Terra was right that Raven had acted in an irrational manner, but it was wrong to say she needed to be locked up. She had simply been scapegoating Terra.

Raven was hurt, and she was angry and she was jealous and scared. She had flown into a rage, just like anyone else could. That didn't make her demented. In fact, it made her seem more human. It allowed a side of her to be shown, that usually she had under lock and key. Something really bad must have happened in order for Raven to be this out of control of her emotions. Something worse than just a break-up, or being caught cheating. There was something else going on. Something she was hiding from everyone perhaps.

**A/N: I know this chapter is a lil harsh, but I wanted you to see just how truly evil Terra is. Just bear with me, and I promise you'll love the ending. :) Review please, they keep me going.**

_**Love, Lily**_


	4. Goodbye to Raven

**Goodbye to Raven  
**

* * *

It was breaking my heart, to watch her be taken from her own home. I couldn't believe that I had agreed to this. I flew down, a tiny green butterfly, and softly had my wings brush across Raven's cheek. She felt it, and a tiny smile appeared on her lips. I turned to fly off, and I saw my wife, smirking at Raven. I watched her curiously, as she hadn't noticed I was there. She began laughing as the doors closed and the car drove off. She grinned as she turned, and walked inside the Tower. I followed her, making sure I wasn't seen. She stepped into the living room, and stood in front of the television.

Terra spoke, and her voice was so cold, I was surprised there weren't icicles hanging from her lips. "Now that the little bird has been shoved out of the nest, I hope you realize that I am in control here, just as I always have been. Poor Beast Boy, so stricken with grief and shock over his precious Raven that he couldn't even make it to see her off. Now, don't get any ideas. I will take care of my husband, because I am all that he needs. Understood, Titans?" Surprisingly, Starfire was the one who spoke first. Her anger was evident in the way her fists began to glow green.

"You little brat, get out the hell of here. Now, Terra!" She screamed.

Cackling, the blond stood there. "You honestly think you can scare me and order me about you little alien?"

That was the last straw for Star. Her eyes began to glow green and she began shooting star-bolts at Terra. Easily, Terra dodges them, but in doing so loses her balance and falls backwards onto the TV. Cyborg screams and Robin reaches to help Terra, as Starfire calms down. Instead of taking the offered hand, Terra stands up and the Titans' eyes watch her normally blue eyes turn yellow and feel the ground beneath their feet begin to shake. Terra's hands glow a matching color and the Tower begins to lift off the ground. Having seen enough for one day, too much honestly, I reverted back to my normal form and drop down onto the floor in front of my wife. Terra lets out an ear-piercing scream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Terra~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Tower slammed back into the ground with a loud crash and the blond fell to the ground with a soft thump on her ass. She looked up at Beast Boy, seeing the confusion written all over his face, and the pain from the betrayal in his eyes. It was the same look he had had when she had manipulated him into thinking that Raven had been cheating on him with Robin. The look sent shivers running up her spine. The world seemed to freeze and then in that instant, Terra regretted hurting the Titans so much.

She truly did love Beast Boy, and all she had ever wanted was to be accepted, but Robin and the other Titans didn't understand her like Beast Boy. Now, the one thing that had mattered most to her since Raven had defeated her father, Trigon, and everybody reverted from stone to human flesh, was looking at her he didn't even know who she was anymore. In truth, she didn't even know herself anymore.

"Ever since Raven had forced some of my memories back, I have been struggling to find a way to fulfill everyone's views of me, even the bad ones. I was hoping that by doing what people remembered me doing, the rest of my memories would come back. Unfortunately, I have taken it way too far." She spoke all of this to Beast Boy, forgetting that they weren't alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin, I apologize for my wife's behavior towards you. I am going to take her home now. If you will excuse me, I will take my leave now. Let's go Terra." I spoke, resorting to formalities because of the fear of my inner turmoil. This was a private discussion and hell will freeze over before I have this fight out with Terra in front of all my previous friends. I began walking towards the door, Terra at my heels, and Robin spoke up.

"Beast Boy, you know we are still your friends. We will always care about you. You are like a brother to all of us. If you have any need for us, let us know so we can be there for you."

"If you truly were my friends you never would have sent that letter. Stop fucking playing mind games with me."

With that, I spun on my heel and left the Tower. Turning to Terra, I spoke. "I will meet you back at the house." Without another word, I flew off, a hummingbird in the wind. Flying high, I became an eagle. I flew higher than ever before, trying to fly away from my problems. When I could not do that, I landed on the ground with a soft thud, and took off running. A wolf racing through the sun shining woods, I outran my problems, and did not stop until I could not breathe anymore. I rested on a tree stump, and transformed back into a human.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Terra~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Terra stood there, dumbfounded. Silently, she followed her husband, unsure what else to do. Suddenly, he took off, leaving her with orders to meet him back at the house and who knew when he would be back. She glared at his form, and then started walking towards the house. She had a thought though. _Rubbing it in Raven's face that Beast Boy had not even come to see her off._ She grinned maliciously. The blonde took off running, and soon found herself standing breathlessly in front of the mental hospital. She stepped inside after catching her breath, and stepped up to the receptionist desk. "I would like to see a patient."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Cyborg~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cyborg was taken aback by his former best friend's harsh comment. He could not believe that after all this time; Beast Boy would have grown to hate him. "What the hell was he talking about Robin? I never played mind games with him. Video-games, sure, but never that kind of game. And what letter is he talking about?"

Unsure himself, Robin just shook his head. "I am not sure, Cyborg. I never even sent him a letter. Did either of you?" Cyborg and Starfire shook their heads. Robin nodded. "I feared that was the case. I will give you one guess who did send him a letter."

At once, him and Star spoke. "Terra."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Raven~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Raven sat mutely on her new bed, her thoughts faster than a racehorse. She had felt the brush of a green butterfly's wing on her cheeks. She knew it had to have been Beast Boy. _But then why would he not have come and had the decency to tell me goodbye to my face?_ She did not know what was going through his mind, nor her own for that matter. She loved him, and she knew he at least cared about her but and had loved her but what she did not know was if he still loved her after all she had done. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door.

A security guard poked his head inside the door. "Miss, there is a visitor here to see you." The next thing she knew, Terra was standing in the doorway, her smile was one of faked sympathy. Once the door shut behind them, Terra's lip formed into a sneer.

"You little brat. You deserve to be in here and I am so glad you are not gonna be with Beast Boy. I ruined that for you, and that is what you can sleep at night dreaming about. Dreaming about the family that got torn apart. I am gonna have his baby, not you. You were so pathetic and worthless, you could not even keep your baby. You lost it, Raven, and now you can watch with despair as I have all you ever wanted. So, tell me, how does it feel to have your whole world turned upside down by none other than moi?" Terra spoke, her words a million tiny daggers into Raven's heart.

Raven sat there, frozen in shock, trying to hold all her emotions inside in check. _Wait a minute, Terra knew about my baby. Could she have caused my miscarriage?_ Raven lost it then, and lunged for Terra, pinning the blond against the wall and holding her there by her hair. "You fucking selfish bitch. You killed my baby, you stole my boyfriend, and now you have the fucking nerve to come here and try to rub it in my face? You are so demented, it's not even funny. They got the wrong person locked up." Darkness exploded around her, and enveloped Terra once more, and Raven's evil laughter and Terra's screams were echoing off the white walls.

Guards raced in, but no sooner did they do so did they run right back out. Doctors did the same, and then one called Robin, informing him of the ongoing actions of the newest patient. "Now whose the one in despair, Terra? Would that be you? Yes, yes it would be. Amazing. I do not see you getting in my face trying to rub in bullshit now. Funny how you do not have the nerve to do so now, don't you agree?" Raven taunted, her anger growing with each passing second.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Robin~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As if them speaking her name had caused it, the phone rang. "We have a problem." Robin said, after hanging up the phone. "Raven is furious. We need Beast Boy. Lets just hope that he will be able to stop her from killing Terra first." He picked up the phone, and called Beast Boy's cell. "Beast, Rae needs you at Jump City Mental. Like, now."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Beast Boy hung up. I was flying through the forest, on my way to help the woman I had once thought was my soul-mate, but now he was not sure what she was to him anymore. All I did know was that she needed me, and I would be there for her, just as I had always tried to be. I just hoped my wife had nothing to do with Raven this time. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my gut though, that Terra had something to do with this, and that was not a good thing. My heart was racing, but I wasn't entirely sure what the reason was. Fear for my wife's safety, fear for Raven's mental state, fear for Raven's safety, or anticipation of seeing Raven again.

Racing past Robin and Starfire, I went into the building. The commotion was making my ears hurt, and I hurried toward the sound of screaming and dark chuckling. There she was. The girl, who haunted my every waking moment and my dreams, was standing before my terrified wife. "Rae!"

At the sound of my voice, she turned her head, eyes narrowed. "It's Raven." I froze, the anger in her was not only anger; I could see the pain deep inside her eyes. She didn't know how to deal with her emotions and I could tell she was fighting for something, but I could not figure out what that something was. She had a secret, and it was killing her from the inside out.

"Raven, you need to calm down. "

"To hell with that! You honestly think I am going to let this fucking bitch free? You are stupid if you believe that."

"Please, Rae. This is not you, and you know it. Calm down, sweetheart."

"Yes, Rae, you should listen to him."

Turning her head towards the last voice, Raven narrowed her eyes and Terra's eyes went wide with shocking pain. "Shut up!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Raven~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She was fighting to keep herself in control. With every passing second, her anger threatened to peak, and as much as she hated Terra... She did not want to be the one who killed her. Beast Boy was trying to get her to see reason, and all she wanted to do was listen to him, but it was past that point. She was not going to be able to stop Trigon's anger from coming out of her. She knew she was not being herself, but what she did not know was how to cease her actions. She felt as if she was suffocating in here, and she could not think straight.

Flying up, she broke through the ceiling and flew up high like she had the previous night. Beast Boy took off after her, flying in time with her. He knew she needed him, but he did not know how to help her and she could see it in his eyes that he was scared that he could not seem to snap her out of her anger.

She finally stopped flying upward, and they began their descent. Landing on a nearby rooftop, he transformed back, and she found herself unable to be mad anymore. She fell to a heap on the floor, her eyes reverting back to the light violet and she began to cry. Clenching her fists, she willed herself to stop crying. Alas, she could not and soon found her love's arms comforting her.

"Rae, tell me what happened. Please, huney?" The term of endearment slipped out of his mouth, and he blushed but she had not noticed.

"There is so much you do not know about your wife." She sneered at the last word, "She is the reason for our break-up and the cause of…" She began, and then cut herself off before she told him too much. He would only feel guilty, and it would change nothing because he did not love her in that way anymore. She stood up, then, distancing herself so she would not change her mind.

"Look, it was entirely my fault, and I am sorry for my mistakes and for harming Terra. I will not be a problem to you anymore. I hope one day you will forgive me, but I will not be here to see if you shall forgive me or not."

Looking puzzled, he stood up and spoke. "Wait a minute. I am so lost. You are leaving?"

She nodded, and closed her eyes so he would not see her heart breaking into a million more pieces than it was already shattered into. "I am going to leave, so that you guys will never be troubled with my anger ever again."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was in shock. She could not have just said that she was leaving. _But she had. _"Raven…" There was a lump in my throat and the words I wanted to say had disappeared. "Be careful," I whispered as tears filled my eyes. She noticed not and nodded.

"Goodbye Garfield."

"Goodbye Rachel."

I watched her leave, as tears made my eyes sting and burn down my cheeks. I am still unsure how long I stood there like that, but at some point I managed to climb down off the roof and make my way back to my house. I felt like an outsider in my house as I listened to my answering machine messages. Terra would be staying at Jump City Mental Hospital to make sure that she was alright after all that had transpired.

In a haze, I walked back to my bedroom and found Cyborg sitting on my bed. He spoke the words I had yet to.

"She's gone."

"She told me goodbye."

"She left to meet Aqualad and then she is not sure where she is going to go from there. I just thought I would let you know, seeing as how you are my friend and all."

"We were friends, Cyborg, but you chose not to be my friend. I read the letter. I don't want to fight tonight, so will you please just leave?"

"Not until you understand that Terra set you up, man. Terra wrote a fake letter, and told you it was from us. We did not write that letter. Dude, your wife has been using you and manipulating you all along."

"NO! She has been the only one who has constantly stood by my side. Even Raven left."

"No. Beast Boy, you left." With that, he stood up, and walked out the door, and then out of the house.


	5. Hello to Memory Lane

**A/N: This is the latest chapter and I hope you like it. I'm working on Chapter 6 already and I hope to have it added before next Friday at the latest. Review please and read the 1st chapter's author's note.**

**Love, Lily  
**

**Hello to Memory Lane**

* * *

"She told me goodbye."

"She left to meet Aqualad and then she is not sure where she is going to go from there. I just thought I would let you know, seeing as how you are my friend and all."

"We were friend, Cyborg, but you chose not to be my friend. I read the letter. I don't want to fight tonight, so will you please just leave?"

"Not until you understand that Terra set you up, man. Terra wrote a fake letter, and told you it was from us. We did not write that letter. Dude, your wife has been using you and manipulating you all along."

"NO! She has been the only one who has constantly stood by my side. Even Raven left."

"No. Beast Boy, you left." With that, he stood up, and walked out the door, and then out of the house.

_Thump! _The book hit the wall, followed by another book. "Damn it!" Pausing to look for something else to satisfy my need for destruction, I noticed something on the bed. It was the letter Terra had shown him.

**_Dear Beast Boy,_**

**_We cannot believe that you chose Terra over us. _**

**_She has already betrayed us, more than once, yet you love her. _**

**_We are no longer your friends._**

**_Goodbye._**

**_Starfire, Robin, Cyborg_**

The letter was short, and to the point. _Come to think of it, I've never seen the letter's envelope, and why was this letter typed and printed out? Speaking of letters, why would they have written a letter instead of just telling me to my face? Things aren't adding up. Is is possible Cyborg was telling the truth about Terra? _My thoughts were like puzzle pieces falling slowly into place. Terra hadn't been surprised by the letter showing up in the mail. In fact, she had been the one to tell me that I should check the mail, when normally she was the one who would grab the mail around lunch time. _Was she capable of manipulating me into a relationship with her, just for her own gain? _The answer was one I didn't want to know, but it came despite my not wanting it to. _Yes, she was. Wow. My wife had lied to me our whole marriage, but yet haven't I been lying to? I have always loved Raven, despite her infidelity. I have never been able to fully get over her. Yes, I love Terra, but not like I love Raven, and definitely not as much anymore._ As I sat on my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about this. It was like a dam had broken and now the thoughts wouldn't slow their pouring out. Suddenly, I had a thought. _Did Terra manipulate Raven into sleeping with Robin, too?_

I shook my head, trying to clear it, but to no avail. "DAMN IT!" My voice echoed throughout the house, reminding me how empty it was. I threw the table, toppling everything upon it to the floor. My mind was a whirlpool of incoherent thoughts, as I paced around my bedroom. Pieces were missing from this puzzle and I intended to find out what they were, but first, I had something very important to do. I walked out the door, slamming them in anger before storming off to the mental hospital. "I would like to see my wife." I said, shocked that my voice stayed even, my tone almost calm, when the anger inside of me had reached a boiling point. I waited until I was left alone with Terra before she endured my wrath. "Bitch. How could I have been so stupid? So naïve?"  
"Baby..Let me explain. Please?"  
"I've had enough of your lies, but lets hear your pathetic excuse for manipulating and making me the fool."

Crying, she spoke, "Beast Boy, I love you. I always have and I always will. You make me smile, you make me laugh, and you believe in me when no one else does. Raven was just in the way. She never belonged with you. She never loved you like I did. Like I still do. Baby, I did what I did for you. For us. You have to believe tha-" Sobs broke the last word and her body shook with the force of them, but I wasn't listening to the sound of her tears. I was still shocked by what Terra had just hinted to. Clenching my teeth and fists together to keep my tone even and my anger reined in. "How did you get Raven out of the way, baby?" The tears didn't stop, but her sobs turned to a dark chuckle. "That was it. Baby...The baby." Her words weren't making sense.  
"What baby?"  
"The baby, the baby."  
"Wait, you're pregnant?"  
"No! No, no, no!"  
"Then what Terra?"  
"Her baby. Hers. Hers."  
"Whose baby? Whose Terra, whose?"  
"Always about her. Never me! Her, her, her."  
"Who, darling, who?"  
"It was all her fault. She just had to be so close to you. She couldn't just let me have you."  
"Focus, Terra, focus. Whose baby is it?"  
"I already told you. It was hers. She had it coming."  
My anger was coming to boiling point, now. "Damn it Terra! Tell me whose baby it was. NOW!"  
"Raven's, Raven's."  
"Raven's pregnant?"  
"No. Not anymore." Her sentence was ended with a small chuckle.  
"What do you mean, Terra? What did you do?"  
"I made her go away, I made her go bye-bye, and her baby, too." There was more chuckling, now.  
I snapped, and screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER, TERRA?"  
My words meant nothing to her. She was completely crazy now. There was no coming back, I could see it in her eyes. She had finally snapped, and it was my fault.

_"No, it's not. If anyone is at fault, it is her, because she did not ask anyone for help or tell anyone she was experiencing difficulties with her memories. Ultimately though, this is not your fault. There is no one to blame but herself for her current state. She chose to be this way, no one held her at gun point."_

Raven's voice drifted in my head as an image of her appears before my eyes, making me finally see that she's the one my heart has always belonged to and her infidelity means nothing to me now, as long as we can move past it and I can call her my own again. I left Terra, and spoke to the doctors about making sure she was fully committed and then about divorcing my wife. The paperwork would take some time, I knew, but I wanted it done as soon as possible. If nothing else, Terra had manipulated me into thinking my friend's were not so anymore, and she had possibly hurt Raven. Not to mention, Terra was getting no love from me anytime soon. She had done more than her fair share of destroying our marriage and I can only hope she gets the help she so desperately needs.

Turning on my heel, I left the building and took off towards the Tower, but that wasn't my destination. I didn't bother changing forms, I just took off racing down the street. Like a siren's call, Raven's face was in my head, urging me to move faster. I couldn't bare to loose her again, not when I had so many questions. My muscles were aching and my lungs were on fire, but I kept running. I had to get to her in time. I had to tell her...that I love her.

"I only hope I'm not too late…" I whispered to myself, as the muscles in my legs protested their strenuous exercise. The T Tower was so far away, it seemed I would never get there.

"_How could I have hurt Raven like that? How could I have told her that I didn't love her when my arms yearn to wrap around her waist and hold her body close to mine?" _

My thoughts were as fast as the ball of my foot touching the ground. Images of Raven flashed in time to the sound of my rapid heartbeat. Raven, her hair spilled out over my arm like a darkened waterfall. Raven, with her breathing even as she slept in my arms. Raven, with that smile on her lips as she whispered she loved me. Raven, the girl who had secretly liked my jokes, despite finding them on the stupid side. I couldn't get that violet-eyed girl out of my head, let alone out of my heart.

_Raven walks into the room nervously, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Beastboy, I…" Her words died in her throat and she forced herself to feel nothing as she watched Beastboy turn his head from the kiss to look at her. Terra just smirked, as Beastboy looked, first guiltily then angrily, at her. He stood up, glaring at her, as he began to speak. "Raven, how could you have cheated on me and broke my heart? You have fallen in love with Robin! I thought you loved me!" His voice was reaching new levels of high for him. She bit her tongue to keep the words that immediately came to mind from coming out. "Hypocrite!" Instead, she said quietly, "I'm sorry." She turned and left the room. Beast Boy stood up to go after her, but Terra grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. "Let her go." She whispered, her eyes sparkling with, what appeared to be, sadness and love for him. He nodded, his heart shattering, and put on a fake smile. _

That fake smile was something I'd been living with for awhile now but had only now just realized that it had almost always been a fake smile since that eventful day. Along with my heart, my trust had been destroyed and I felt devastated. I had went to Terra, maybe to make Raven jealous, or to make her hurt as much as I did, or to make sure I avenged myself or maybe just because I was too hurt so I needed some known place I could hide and lick my wounds and show Raven that despite it all, she had not broken me down. In the end though, all I had hoped to achieve had been failed and I was about to lose, if I hadn't already, the one thing in this world that had ever really meant something to me. I didn't think I could take another blow dealt by Raven, but I would try to understand it if she chose to just leave and never come back. I made it to the Titans Tower feeling faint but I wasn't going to let that stop me.

Once inside the Tower, I ran to Cyborg's room, pounding on the door. A sleepy Cyborg opened the door and upon seeing him, I started speaking, "Where is she? Is she still here? Am I too late?"

"Where's who and too late for what?"

"RAVEN!" I yelled.

Ever so slowly, Cyborg yawned and then opened his mouth to reply but I didn't wait long enough to hear it. I was shaking worse than a blender. I took off running down the hallway towards Raven's room and I immediately knocked on her door. I was in high hopes that she would answer the door and with no response, I went inside to see if maybe she was just asleep. I didn't see anyone inside the room but I did see her stuff still unpacked. Hoping I was right that she was still here on Earth and would be back for her stuff soon, I decided to sit down on her bed. I was exhausted with my eyelids feeling like my bricks, so I promptly fell backwards, into a fitful sleep. She was the star in my nightmares.

( ( D r e a m ) )

_There she was. Just in the doorway. I smile and so does she, but wait. She's not even looking at me. It's like she is seeing right through me, as if I'm not even here, but I am here. I turn around to figure out what she is staring at and realize its Robin. "Raven," I scream, hoping she'll hear me! Unfortunately, she doesn't and she turns, going back into her room, Robin following suit. Curiosities making my feet move despite my shock, I ran forward hoping to find out what she needed to talk to Robin about, but found the door beginning to close, so I ran faster but smacked my face into the door. I pulled back to feel my nose, but was distracted by the sudden change in scenery. I was now on an empty freeway, no cars and no people anywhere in sight, but as I was looking around I spotted something in the distance that appeared to be a bird. This bird must have been the only living thing on the freeway, so I decided to follow it. Alas, when I tried to reach it but I found I couldn't. Irritated, I began running towards the bird but as soon as I got close to it, it sped up. Screaming in frustration after the fifth time of this, the bird landed. Perching itself on a freeway sign, it morphed into none other than Raven. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in surprise, as I stared at the beautiful woman. Smiling at me, she disappeared, reappearing on a speed limit sign only a few feet away. I slowly walked towards the speed limit sign, but when I got within a few inches of her, she disappeared again. This time she was on a different sign, further away than before and I continued trying to "catch" her, but my efforts were in vain. _

I was never fast enough to catch her, and I kept tossing and turning in my sleep. When I slid my arms under the pillows to try to get comfortable and fall back asleep, my hands bumped something. Drowsily, I pulled out what felt like a small book. I open it up to the first page and noticed it was a diary. The first entry was from when Raven and I were still dating. I had had no clue that she had kept a diary, let alone wrote about me in it. Now fully alert, although still sore from the extreme exercise, I pondered what I should do with the journal. Maybe if I could read about how she felt when she cheated on me then I could understand it, and maybe I could find what it was that Terra had been going on about.

"_Maybe Terra was already crazy talking by that time. She probably doesn't even know what she's talking about and if she did, it was only a completely twisted version of the truth. After all, Terra had been a liar from the very start, hadn't she?" _

I flipped through the pages, reading about the various dates we had gone on. One of the entries was about the first movie we had gone to; when I had been so nervous I had spilled my drink all down the front of her shirt. She had surprised me by laughing almost to the point of hysteria, and it had caused me to start laughing and we had been escorted out of the theater because we just could not stop laughing, but it wasn't because of me spilling the drink it was because the nervous tension that had been in the air was being relieved. We didn't kiss that night, but something I hadn't know that night was that she had wrote in her diary about her feeling glad that she had been able to laugh, really laugh for the first time in her life making her feel normal. Not to mention that she had wanted me to kiss her almost as much as I had wanted to kiss her that night. I found myself laughing softly, and a tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, so as not to get anything on her diary. I read on, relieving more memories of my time spent with Raven.

_The stars were bright, making up for the crescent moon's light, and we lay on the beach. The blanket was comfy, as we gazed upon the stars, making up constellations as we went. Laughing, we turned our bodies so we faced each other. We smiled at each other, then a mischievous smile appeared on her lips and she touched my shoulder. "_Tag, you're it!_" She giggled then took off running. I ran after her, chuckling at how she kept turning her head back to stick her tongue out at me. Giving into her taunts, I ran even faster. I tackled her down into the sand, and pinned her arms down. I looked into her face, chuckling as she giggled like a school girl. She caught my gaze and our laughter subsided. She was soft as I ran my fingers down her arms and goose bumps appeared on her pale skin. I leaned towards her, seeking an answer in her eyes. She seemed to read the question in my eyes and closed the distance between us, so that our noses were touching. I pressed my lips, once, twice, thrice, against hers and then her eyelids fluttered shut and I closed mine, catching her bottom lip between my teeth lightly. She moaned a little, her mouth opening and her tongue seeking mine. Delaying her request, I traced her bottom lip with my tongue before sliding it over her tongue and across the roof of her mouth. She shivered, and I knew it had nothing to do with the slight breeze that had just ruffled her hair, as she slid her arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Our tongues danced together for what felt like eternity, and I never wanted it to stop. As a wave crashed against the shore, breathlessly, we looked into each other's eyes; hers were a beautiful shade of purple. _

"That was our first kiss." I whispered, as a couple teardrops rolled down my cheeks.

"I remember it as if it happened yesterday." Startled, I looked up to see Raven standing in her doorway.


	6. Words Left Unspoken

**A/N: Well, I've been sick, so it took a little longer than expected, but I made the deadline I had made for myself. I hope you like the latest update. Suggestions and compliments always welcome. Review please, they keep me going. :)**

**Love, Lily**

**Words Left Unspoken**

* * *

"Raven, is it really you?" I asked uncertainly.

"Yes it is, me, Beast Boy." She replied quietly.

I moved off the bed, taking a step towards her, the diary still in my hands. We stood there, looking at the other person, words lodged in our throats. As I opened my mouth to speak, I took another step forward. "Raven, I…."

"Why are you in my room, and why are you going through my diary?"

"I was looking for you and then I fell asleep on your bed and I couldn't sleep. I was having this dream and as I was tossing and turning in my sleep my hand bumped into your diary and I couldn't believe you even had a diary. I was shocked at finding it and then I was curious and I… Well I wanted to know if I could find out why you cheated on me with Raven, because if I could then I might be able to forgive you and then we could be together, Raven."

I paused to look at her reaction and to catch my breath. She was stunned and I took a step forward, feeling a need to touch her. To make sure she was really here and this wasn't another dream. It was like someone flipped a light switch on Raven, for suddenly her voice turned cold and hard.

"How dare you come into my room and read my diary in the hopes of finding a possible way to understand what happened between us. How dare you have the nerve to try to tell me you MIGHT," she screeched the last word before continuing on, "be able to forgive me, and how dare you presume I would want to get back together with you!"

She was angry and she was hurt, I could tell that much by the look in her eyes and in the way that a lamp was now hurtling towards my head in a mass of black energy. I ducked and the lamp hit the wall, and I cringed as it shattered. I took another step toward her, and for my stupidity I had a stack of books come flying at me. Dodging them just barely, I opened my mouth to scream at her but my mouth was shut. Black energy then spread from my mouth to the rest of my body and my feet were soon not touching the carpet anymore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I shoved him out the door, because I did not truly want to hurt him. I just wanted him to feel how I felt, but I could not make him see the truth. _How could I tell him the truth when I did not even remember sleeping with Robin? _Answer? I could not. _I cannot even figure out how Terra found that photo. If he believes his wife's lies even now, then how do I explain that she was lying about me loving Robin but right about me cheating on him? _ "I just don't get it! " I exclaimed, but quickly I reeled in my anger, not wanting to lose control of my emotions, which could lead to my powers accidentally hurting one of my innocent friends.

Sighing, I sat crossed-legged on my bed and began my meditation. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I repeat over and over until I begin to levitate a few feet above my bed and then the whole house becomes quiet and I'm in my own little world.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Terra**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sat Indian style on my bed in the mental hospital room, looking up at the ceiling. I had done it. I had done the impossible. I had broken up Raven and Beast Boy and had Beast Boy marry me. I had the green changeling all to myself, so what was I worried about? "Maybe that look in your husband's eyes when you said you had hurt his _ precious_ Raven or the look he gave you when you would not tell him what was wrong?" My voice sneering at the word precious surprised even me. It didn't sound like my voice, it sounded like someone else's to my own ears. "What does it sound like to other people then?"

"_It sounds like you are crazy," _said a voice in my head, from out of nowhere.

"I am not crazy!" I responded, before realizing that yelling out loud at a voice in my head could very well be considered crazy.

_"But aren't you?"_ a voice said coming from inside my head again.

"No, I am not crazy!" I exclaimed, raising my voice even higher.

_"They've always thought you were crazy."_

This time the voice sounded less like me and more like Slade. The voice was starting to scare me now. _What if Slade's still alive? What if he's come back for me? But Slade is dead. He has to be. _

_"Am I though, Terra? Am I truly dead? Or are you just crazy like everyone thinks?" _asked the Slade voice.

"Get out of my head!" I screamed, as panic began to set in.

Slade dropped into the room and his arrogance was truly aggravating. "What do you want, Slade?" I asked, trying to keep my voice at a normal tone so he would not think he had scared me. I was straining my ears, hoping to hear one of the nurses coming down the hallway so that Slade would be forced to leave and not be seen.

"Terra, Terra, Terra… I had high hopes for you. I really thought that I had taught you better. I mean where do you think that you learned how to be so manipulative? It wasn't because of your intelligence alone. I taught you, my dear."

He chuckled and he looked around the room. The doctors had not moved me to a different room, yet but they would soon. They were making a room available for her to be moved to since there was a hole in the ceiling from Raven and the room was trashed. I kept my eyes focused on Slade, until he turned back to me.

"Shut up Slade, you don't know anything about me and I am not your puppet anymore!" I yelled at him.

"Terra, you have been my puppet this whole time. You never stopped being my puppet. I put the ideas in your head. I told you to take that picture of Robin and Raven and I told you to tell Raven what you knew. I am the one who got you Beast Boy, though I do not understand why you love him so much. He is so childish and he makes the stupidest jokes, not to mention the way he looks at Raven. You might have married him in reality but think back Terra. That dream he had, he said it was not about you at first. Well, it was about some girl wasn't it? How much you want to bet that he lied and that it was Raven he was dreaming about and telling her," he stopped and mimicked Beast Boy's voice, as she had before, "My heart, of course I love you!"?.

I was flying at him, punching and kicking his arms and chest and wanting to hurt him like he was hurting me. It wasn't working though, I realized as all he did was effectively block my attacks but I landed a good blow to his stomach and he doubled over in pain. "You're an asshole, and you need to leave. Now!" I screamed at him, my heart pounding faster due to the adrenaline and the fear of what would happen as he lifted his head up. He began laughing, the sound of his amusement reverberating against the walls.

"You can keep on screaming, but we both know the truth. You are, and always have been, my puppet, Terra."

I screamed, "You're lying. Lying! I'm not your puppet anymore!" My hands began to glow and parts of the ceiling that were still there began flying towards Slade.

"You're crazy, Terra. Look how badly you're reacting to the truth. Maybe you do need some help." Effortlessly, he dodged the pieces of ceiling.

My anger raising more, I lifted up off the floor on a slab of rock. "You did this then. You made me hurt Raven and Robin and you made me make Raven lose her baby. You made me hurt Beast Boy, when he had done nothing wrong to me! Why would you do that?"

He smirked at me. "No, Terra. You're the bitch who did all of that. You're the one that caused all this drama and you have only you to blame. You decided to hurt them all, and you are the one who caused Raven to lose her child and the one who tore Raven and Beast Boy apart. You're the one that came out supposedly on top with Beast Boy as your husband. Not me, Terra. You! You did it. You did it all. Every single part of your plan was done without my help or my guidance. "

"No! It was you that did that! You were the one who decided to do this to them. I would never hurt Beast Boy like this. It had to have been you because I love Beast Boy!" I retorted.

Laughing, Slade just stood there as rocks and soil were flung at him by my powers. "Terra, look at what's going on here. Nothing is hitting me. I have no scratches on me nor do I have any bruises. I am just standing here. I am simply a fragment of your imagination, my dear. You're trying to scapegoat your failure onto me because you can't accept the fact that you're the one who ultimately hurt Beast Boy, Terra." As he finished speaking, he disappeared.

"No! I can't believe it. He's right." I fell to the ground as the nurses came in. They looked at the damage I had done and just shook their heads. I didn't fight them as they moved me to another room. I let them lead me there and I let them lock me in the room. The fight had drained out of me, as the realization hit me.

_Beast Boy was hurt because of me. He loves me but he fell in love with her first. By hurting Raven, I hurt Beast Boy and pushed him away. I caused the one I love pain because of my selfishness. I have to fix what I've done. I have to get him away from Raven and show him how much better for him I am than Raven is for him. _

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Beast Boy~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**

_I can't believe how quickly her mood changed. I wanted to tell her I love her and that I don't want her to leave. What did I say wrong? She was so angry, but at least she's still here. I know that she has a right to be hurt but I was trying to fix it. How am I supposed to fix it if she doesn't listen to me? _My thoughts were stuck on Raven, when the phone suddenly rang. It was the mental hospital telling me what Terra had done to her room, in anger. I exhaled loudly and asked them to continue on. They did, telling me that Terra was now in a room by herself, in the opposite side of the building and on 24 hour surveillance and that she had not put up a fight when they took her to her room. In fact, it seemed that she was upset about something.

"Alright, I'll check in on her at some point tomorrow. Thank you for letting me know and for taking care of her. Have a good night." I said into the phone. After waiting for their response I hung up the phone and went back to concentrating on Raven. Soon I was fast asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Raven**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The silence was disturbed by the phone ringing. I wasn't sure who it was but I didn't care enough to find out either. I heard Beast Boy's voice speaking to the person on the phone, and I assumed it had something to do with Terra at Jump Mental Hospital. Ignoring the way I wanted to walk into his room and kiss and make-up with him, I went to my closet and grabbed my suitcase, setting it down on the bed; I began putting various clothing items into the suitcase. When I finished packing my suitcase, I set it by the door and then laid down on my bed. My head was laying on something harder than my pillows so I reached behind my head and pulled out my diary.

I couldn't help myself from opening it up and seeing what page Beast Boy had been on when he set it down. I knew he had been reading about our first kiss, when he spoke aloud. I remembered the way his voice shook with sadness from the memory. I remembered the way the tears were just starting to spill over his eyes. I remembered feeling the need to make him smile, and how desperately to comfort him and make everything alright.

Tears filled my eyes, at the memory of his eyes filled with hope as he looked up to the sound of my voice. I wiped away the tears and threw the book across the room. I turned my back to the book and I closed my eyes, falling into a fitful sleep.


	7. Do You Believe Me?

**Author's Note: *avoids rotten tomatoes being thrown at her***

**I know, I know, I know. It has been such a long time since I have updated. I promise I didn't forget about this story. I was writing chapters for the story, but I only had one copy and 2 days after I finally got a laptop my hard drive was destroyed so bad that not one of my files were recoverable by my school tech people or the guys at Dell. Plus, the guys at my school's OIT department couldn't get ANY files off of it. Almost all of my pictures were on there, and all my chapters and of course all my assignments. Needless to say, I was thoroughly pissed off. I have had to start rewriting everything. I had 3 chapters ready to go that I was going to update with that weekend. I promise I will update more now that I have a laptop.**

**I wanted to take all of this time to thank everyone who has reviewed. Your reviews mean so much to me. It helps me to continue with this story, and sometimes inspires me to keep going. To the reviews from last chapter:**

**Paragon the Half-Dragon: I will, I promise.**

**elix100: Your review made my day. Thank you so so so much.**

**Guest: Thank you so much. I appreciate it. :D**

**EbonyVergil: Yep, she is. Yes, she will try to leave the Titans. Thank you, I worked really hard on that image.**

**U R Awesome: Thank you. I'm glad you love my story. :D *blushes* Thank you very much. I will write more. I promise. ^-^**

**Vampire of Romance: I wanted to punch Terra several times myself lol, and smack BB to get some sense knocked into him. Yeah, I know what you mean. I will update more now. You'll just have to wait and see if it's a happy ending or not. Thank you :D**

**teentitangirl25: Thank you dear.**

**The Cretin: I love your reviews so much. Your words inspire me and keep me going. Thank you so much.**

**If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. I appreciate your review as well. **

**Love, Lily**

**Now, onward with the story. . .**

**Do You Believe Me?**

* * *

The delicious aroma of pancakes cooking drafted into my room, awakening me. I sat up in bed, and frowned at the sound of my stomach grumbling. I got out of bed, groggily and stretched my arms above my head, linking my fingers together and pushing upward to stretch out my body. A few minutes later, I was walking in the direction of the food. I yawned as I walked into the kitchen. Starfire and Robin greeted me as I walked to the table and sat down.

"Rough night?" Robin asked me, and I nodded. As I yawned again, Starfire cheerfully exclaimed,

"Good morning, friend."

"Morning, Star." I mumbled.

"So, Beast, do you know what the call late last night was about?"

"Yeah, it was the hospital. They were calling to tell me that I needed to come in and have a talk with Terra," I told them, frowning. I didn't like the idea of going to see Terra today, but I knew I needed to.

"Oh, okay. Why were they calling so late?" Robin asked me, but I just shrugged my shoulders.

Robin looked at me and then decided against pressing the issue and so he turned back to his fiancée. They were such a perfect pair in the kitchen. They moved together as if they had had years of practice in doing so. It made me wish that Raven and I could be that in sync with one another. I sighed and then put my head down on the table. Starfire, always the one to try and cheer someone up, brought him a plate of pancakes and set them down in front of me. I smiled at her and then I ate the pancakes. When I was done, I left the Tower quickly, not wanting to watch Star and Robin anymore.

"Robin, what's wrong with him?"

"Star, I think he's in love."

"What do you mean? With who?" Robin just laughed and started eating.

A few minutes later I turned back into my human form and walked into the building. I walked up to the young blond receptionist and said, "I'm Garfield, and I'm Ire to see my wife, Terra."

"Can I see proof of ID?" I handed her my ID, and she looked at it. She marked my visit in the computer and handed me a visitor's badge.

"This man will take you to see your wife now," the receptionist told me as a man came out from behind the counter and led him to the room.

"Would you like to go in and speak with her?"

"Yes, I would, actually."

As I replied, I stepped forward and unlocked the door. I stepped into the room, and Terra hopped up immediately.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Terra**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was sitting on my new bed, staring at the clock. The doctors had told me that Beast Boy was going to come and see me this morning. "He will not take you out of here, Terra," Slade mocked.

"I'm not talking to you. You're not real, Slade," Terra told him, surprisingly calm.

"Oh? Is that so?" Slade asked.

"Yes, that is so."

Slade smirked. "Oh Terra, you still think that you can win your husband back, don't you?"

"He loves me, Slade, and he always has. Nothing will ever take him away from me. Nothing can and nothing will."

Slade chuckled darkly, but said nothing in response.

"You'll see Slade, you'll see!" Terra exclaimed, her temper flaring. "I have a plan to win him back."

"That's my girl," Slade told her as he disappeared.

Terra opened her mouth to scream in frustration but quickly closed it and smiled as her husband walked in the door to her room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Beast** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Beast boy!" Terra exclaimed with her eyes glowing with the same excitement a child has when receiving a treat. It was apparent that she wanted to run up to him, but she probably didn't want to anger him. "You came back!"

"Yes, Terra, I did come back," I began, "I would like to talk to you about last night. What happened? Who were you talking to?" I asked her, trying to keep the hatred I felt for her hidden in my voice.

"Slade," Terra told me as her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as she tried to determine whether I would believe her or not.

"Slade," I repeated, keeping my tone even and my face expressionless. "Slade was in your room last night?"

"Yes, baby, he was. He got into my room somehow, and he was taunting me. Telling me you were in love with Raven and not me. Is that true?" Terra blurted out.

I was silent for a couple minutes, while I actually took the time to think about her question.

"Garfield?" she asked, with uncertainty in her voice.

I took a deep breath and then answered her, best that I could. "I just don't know right now, Terra. I do love you, but I don't know if I can believe you. I'm going to check out that room now, okay?"

Terra had a scared look on her face as she ran over to me. "Will you be back?" she asked me, as I turned to leave. I nodded in response, and then knocked on the door. Once; Twice; and then she kissed me on my check; Thrice. The door opened, and I took one step back and then left the room without a backwards glance. The door closed shut behind me, and it sounded so final.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Terra**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The door closed shut, and I fell backwards onto my bed. _At least he didn't wipe his cheek off afterwards. _

I smiled at the thought, and then started speaking out loud to myself. "He's going to come back, and I have to think of something. Something, something, something…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Beast** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was stunned by Terra's action, though I shouldn't have been. I was still very mad at her for lying to me but maybe I was just being too harsh on her and maybe Terra was telling the truth about seeing Slade in her room. Maybe Terra just needed some medication and she'd be better.

Determined, I decided I would find proof that Terra was telling the truth about seeing Slade in her room. After all, I do love Terra still, and Raven is dead-set on leaving. _Terra is my wife, and I need to be standing by her side, as her husband, right? _I reasoned with myself as I found the other room Terra had been in. The room was destroyed, as was the ground underneath his feet. "No doubt the work of Terra," he said with a soft chuckle.

I looked thoroughly throughout the room. I looked under and all around the upturned furniture. I searched for any signs of a fight between the two of them, and any traces of someone else being in the room. There wasn't any sign that Slade had been there. There was a small window, which was locked and had bars in front and behind it. That was surprisingly the only thing not damaged at all within the room. There was no evidence whatsoever that Slade had been in Terra's room.

Slowly, I walked back towards the new room that Terra was staying in, lost in my own thoughts. The guards allowed me to enter her room, and Terra immediately looked up at him with hope shining in her light blue colored eyes. The hope in her eyes reminded me of someone. Raven! She had had that same hopeful look in her eyes right before she had gone crazy and started throwing shit at him. The circumstances were ironic because he knew that as soon as he told Terra that he didn't believe her he would be responsible for the tantrum she would have in the result. Sighing, he opened his mouth to deliver a harsh blow to his wife.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**Terra**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My jaw dropped to the floor, and it took a moment for my brain to connect the dots so that I could understand what he had just said.

"Really?" I asked him, my voice shaking with uncertainty.

"Yes, Terra, really, I'm sorry," he told me, looking down at the ground.

"You're sorry?!" I asked him, not understanding, "How are you sorry?"

"For hurting you," Beast Boy said simply.

"Baby, don't worry about it. It's perfectly understandable that you would not believe me."

"Yeah…Well, still. You're my wife. I feel horrible about not believing you."

"All that matters, now, is that you believe me."

"I know, baby girl, and I do. I do believe you."

**A/N: I hope you like the latest update. Suggestions and compliments always welcome. Review please, they keep me going. :)**


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